Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
