i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize