No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
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