Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Randomize
