ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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