all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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