so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Randomize
