i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
