the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
