I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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