I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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