I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
