I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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