Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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