I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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