Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
