Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
