Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
