like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
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He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
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Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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