who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
