you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
