he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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