I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Randomize
