he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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