you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
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on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
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I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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