I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
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walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
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making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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