she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
