you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me i tasted like america
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Pants are for mortals
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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