Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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