Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
