I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
