Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize
