roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
