She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
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