I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
