"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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