porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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