i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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