We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Randomize
