I need help removing her.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
