Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
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Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
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She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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