we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
