We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
