I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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