It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
