If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
