it's too hot outside to masturbate.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
