and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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