Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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