I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize