i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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