Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
