A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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