My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
