i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
