i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
