Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
