please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize