i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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