wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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