butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
