Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
How's work?
Spinning.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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