I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
