If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
now i know why i became what i already was.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
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