Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize
