He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I wish you could order shots online.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
