She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
