My first STD was from a foam party
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
