naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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