it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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