She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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