then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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