Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
My nipple is on Facebook.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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