Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
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