He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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