He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
