sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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